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Attorney Drafted Valentine's Day Letter

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February 14th, 2013

 

[Last Name], [First Name]
[Spouse Address]
[Spouse City] [Spouse State], [Spouse Zip]

VIA EMAIL: [Spouse Email]
VIA CRR: [Enter Certified Return Receipt Number]

RE: Love Letter To Wife/Husband - Case File 2-14-2013-A

Mr./Mrs. [Last Name],

The undersigned attorney has been retained to assist [Enter Your Name] (hereinafter known as "Party One"), whose principle address is [Address], in expressing his/her emotional state to [Enter Spouse Name Here] (hereinafter known as "Party Two"), whose principle address is [Spouse Address], obligated under material vows entered into on [Enter Wedding Date] in the State of [Enter State in Which Marriage Occurred].

WHEREAS, the pagan holiday, Feast of Lupercalia, was celebrated as a spring festival of love by ancient Romans;

WHEREAS, St. Valentine was beheaded on February 14th (hereinafter known as "Valentine's Day') and allegedly wrote a letter to a jailer's daughter, who he may or may not have miraculously cured from blindness, where he undersigned "From Your Valentine;"

WHEREAS, on or about Valentine's Day 200 AD, Bishop Valentine allegedly secretly married couples against the will of the Roman emperor; and

WHEREAS, in 496 AD Saint Pope Gelasius declared February 14th as "Valentine's Day;"

WHEREAS, the collective greeting card industry maintains their existence and perpetuates this holiday,

WHEREAS, prior to marriage, the Parties did enjoy the liberties and freedom of singlehood and did give up those liberties on [enter wedding date] in order to bind themselves in legal [and Holy, if applicable] matrimony.

WHEREAS, Party One now desires to fulfill any and all obligations of filial expression arising out of Valentine's Day traditions whether they be Pagan, religious, societal, or otherwise;

THEREFORE, NOW Party One continuing in the traditions of his/her fathers, through Party One's attorney, does hereby express and convey all customary tokens of love and affection normal associated with or contemplated by such Valentine's Day.

Sincerely,

 

Taylor Phillip Willingham

 

This Declaration terminates and supersedes all prior obligations, understanding, or agreements on the subject matter hereof. This declaration may be modified only by a further writing that is duly executed by Party One. Party Two may not assign this declaration or any interest herein without Party One's express written consent. If any term of this declaration is held by Party Two to be invalid, unenforceable, or unacceptable, then this declaration, including all the remaining terms, will remain in full force and effect as if such invalid or unenforceable term had never been included.

 

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